Things of Tolkienizer

Tolkienizing the world since 1993

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*infomercial voice*

So, let’s say you want to ship two dudes together because ‘omg they have so much unresolved sexual tension’ or ‘did you see the way they looked at each other in that scene’ or ‘they are two dudes that i find hot that exist nominally in the same universe.’

But one or both of them has shown some interest in a female character! Canonically!

Now, I know what you are thinking, about how they are probably just in denial or how canon only does that because they aren’t allowed to show the true gay selves of these characters.

BUT. I have a product that is about to blow your mind. It will allow you to respect the characters actions and attraction in canon, not relegate female love interests to a characters misplaced sexual delusions, AND allow you to write hot, hot man love.

I call it BISEXUALITY. Similar products such as pansexuality, polysexuality, and ‘not a perfect 0 or 6 on the Kinsey Scale’ (among others) will have similar effects on your fanfiction.

This fantastic product has somehow remained hidden from the fanfiction community for years, but I am hear to spread the word.

Available for 3 payments of not being a biphobic and/or misogynistic butthead, this amazing writing tool can be yours to use and share as many times as you like.

For more information, visit us online at the internet.

(via excalibur-red)